This is one of the many things I once did according to my husband. His list is slightly more scandalous. Do you ever stop and wonder what happened? Like at what point in my life did wearing pants become a completely valid option compared to shaving? Hell when did I even start wearing jeans? It isn't that I have totally let myself go. I still make sure to be wearing eyebrows and to brush my teeth before leaving the house, but there is always some room for improvement. I fear that one day I will ride that miserable slip and slide into sweat pants. The worse part it will be the ones that don't really fit and I will top it off with a pair of crocs. Sorry to hurt any one's feelings but shoes are not meant to be rinsed with a garden hose. These are just facts people. Once upon a time I was fabulous( in my own mind). My clothes were clean, my hair was washed and my boobs were up where they belong. It was before the days of spit up and gravity. Now I am certain that if I ever ended up missing they would use the spit stains on my shoulders to identify my body. " Excuse me, Mr. Hanson what was your wife last wearing?"
" I believe it was a trix t shirt with stains on the shoulder."
" Now sir was it animal cookies or goldfish?"
"Goldfish!"
" Sir we've found your wife."
It will make it into those special circumstances reference guides. Crap, I truly believe there is already one out there dedicated to my family. Like it just goes into embarrassing detail all of my freakish medical dramas and bizarre anomalies. On the cover it will have a picture of me, no lipstick, just eyebrows.
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Yeah, I hardly even do my eyebrowns anymore. At least you can easily avoid people. I have to go to work and could appear on TV at any given moment depending on the caliber of criminals that day. Blech.
BTW,t he word verification that it gave me is catzgak. I really hate it when I have to clean up cats gak.
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