I can no longer use that line at target!

When my sweet lovely daughter was younger she hated to use toothpaste. You know the kind of hate where I have to straddle her in the bathroom and scrub her teeth while she cries. Don't judge me, I am well prepared to pay her therapy bill one day. Besides it is just a glimpse of the things she'll be laying on a leather couch about. So we went to target with said toothpaste hater to let her pick out new flavor of sand ingrained tooth polish. This was not a happy occasion for the little miss. We discussed how important the junk was to keep her tiny teeth pretty and healthy. She is not concerned. Fast forward to the check out. My husband and I notice a very audible speech impediment of the cashier in the line we chose. I assume she is perhaps hearing impaired, my husband who is closer flat out thinks she's retarded, hey his words not mine, back off! Then my precious little angel blurts out, " WOW, lady!!!!! You're missing a lot of TEETH!" My lord the room grew dark, apologies fell out of my mouth in delirious cession! The woman was very nice about it(still possibly on the handicap side I think).She said it was fine and told her it's because she doesn't have good health insurance. Ok, politely settled one would assume. NO!!! Somehow I managed to pick my foot up and jam it straight into my big fat mouth! Still covered in sweat I point out to my daughter, recollecting the ideas we were trying to instill in her earlier, " See that's why you need to use toothpaste". Apparently not the best place to forward this little lesson to her because the once understanding cashier rages out, " I brush my teeth!!!!!". I sheepishly try to back out and explain the origin of our trip. I think I even drooled a little. I look to my husband for salvation. He is desperately trying to get through using his debit card while pretending he is not with us. As if she will assume he is some stranger taking pity on us and paying for our goods. We finish and my cheeks have the scalding burn of shame. My husband looks laughs at me and asks, " What was that, just couldn't shut up could you?" I try to apologize to him. He keeps laughing and informs me if his card wasn't already in the machine he would have walked away. For better or worse my ass!